Are you a spiritual hoarder?

"Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" (Ps 139:23-24 ESV)

 

A few years ago we hired a housekeeper to come in and do a deep clean.

 

Neither my wife nor I are natural-born house cleaners. I mean, my mom always kept a totally spotless house. You could eat off her floors.

 

Neither of us were given that gift. We do our best, but... well... with three kids, it isn't easy!

 

So we hired the housecleaner to polish things up. To "deep clean" all the nooks and crannies we tended to miss.

 

The funny thing is we spent the entire day before she came, cleaning the house! I was like, "Babe, we're paying her! Why are we doing this?"

 

Well, a part of it was that the housecleaner wouldn't know what to do with random clutter or things sitting on the counter.

 

I think another part of it was we were a little embarrassed about the condition of the house. I mean, we don't want the house cleaner to have to deal with a random pair of underwear that somehow ended up on the living room floor (thank you, dogs) or random socks all over the place.

 

It struck me while reading this Psalm this morning that we often do that kind of thing spiritually, in our relationship with God. We invite him in to "clean house" but we shove a bunch of stuff in the closet, or under the bed, or packed into drawers, just so he doesn't see the really embarrassing stuff. Or so we can hold onto it like a spiritual hoarder, nostalgic about our past unrighteousness. 

 

It's like, "God, please improve my life, but can you please, pretty please, just ignore that one little (big) thing?"

 

This Psalm is actually a little bit ironic.

 

The psalmist, traditionally believed to be David, has just spent the majority of the psalm expounding on God's complete knowledge of his being. Yet now, he invites this all-knowing God to search him. Why ask God to do what He already does? 

 

This invitation isn't about informing God, but about transforming the psalmist. It's a willing submission to divine scrutiny, a courageous opening of the heart's hidden chambers. The Hebrew verb חָקַר (chaqar), translated as "search," implies a thorough investigation. It's as if the psalmist is saying, "Leave no stone unturned! Check out my closet, my drawers, you might find a body in there, something I don't really want to let go, but I need you to help me anyway... I need you to help me want to give it over to you!"

 

Consider the implications of such a prayer. How many of us truly desire every aspect of our lives to be examined? We often present curated versions of ourselves to the world, to our loved ones, even in our prayers. But here, the psalmist strips away all pretense.

 

The request to "know my heart" delves deeper than mere emotion. In Hebrew thought, the לֵבָב (levav) or "heart" encompasses the totality of one's inner life – mind, will, and emotions. This aligns with Jesus' teaching that "out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander" (Mt 15:19 ESV). The psalmist is inviting God to examine the very source of his actions and attitudes.

 

The parallel plea to "try me and know my thoughts" employs the Hebrew word בָּחַן (bachan), often used in the context of testing metals. This isn't a superficial examination but a probing analysis that reveals true nature and quality. The thoughts in question, שַׂרְעַפִּים (sar'appim), can also be translated as "anxieties" or "disquieting thoughts." The psalmist isn't just offering up his best ideas but his worries, fears, and the thoughts he'd rather ignore. 

 

Why would anyone willingly subject themselves to such scrutiny? The answer lies in verse 24: "And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" The psalmist recognizes that self-deception is all too easy.

 

We can justify our actions, rationalize our thoughts, and blind ourselves to our own faults.

 

But this self-delusion leads to a דֶּרֶךְ־עֹצֶב (derek-'otsev), a "way of pain" or "way of wickedness."

 

The alternative is the דֶּרֶךְ עוֹלָם (derek 'olam), the "way everlasting." This isn't just about longevity but about a quality of life – a way of living that aligns with God's eternal purposes.

 

The psalmist understands that this way can only be found through honest self-examination under God's guidance.

 

This passage challenges us to consider: What would it look like to pray this prayer sincerely? To invite God to examine not just our actions, but our motivations? Our secret thoughts? Our hidden biases? Our unspoken resentments? 

 

Such vulnerability requires immense trust in God's character. It's a recognition that God's scrutiny isn't meant to condemn but to cleanse, not to shame but to shape. This trust echoes the words of the apostle John: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 Jn 1:9 ESV).

 

The invitation for divine examination also serves as a powerful antidote to hypocrisy.

 

Jesus often criticized the religious leaders of His day for their outward show of piety that masked inner corruption. He said, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence" (Mt 23:25 ESV).

 

Ever know someone who thought they couldn't be a Christian because too many Christians are hypocrites? Well, my response to that is always don't let individual Christians get in the way of Christ for you! In Matthew alone, Jesus chastises hypocrites six times! He despises hypocracy, too.

 

The psalmist's prayer is a deliberate turning away from such superficiality, a desire for integrity that begins in the heart.

 

This passage also speaks to our need for divine guidance. The plea to be led in the "way everlasting" acknowledges human limitation. We cannot always discern the best path for ourselves. Our judgement can be clouded by desire, fear, or ignorance.

 

By inviting God's examination and leadership, we open ourselves to wisdom beyond our own understanding. 

 

The concept of divine searching and knowing reminds us of another passage: "O Lord, you have searched me and known me!" (Ps 139:1 ESV). This bookending of the psalm creates a beautiful symmetry. What begins as a declaration of God's knowledge ends as an invitation to that knowledge. It's as if the psalmist, having contemplated God's omniscience, responds not with fear but with surrender and trust.

 

This prayer of invitation can serve as a model for our own spiritual growth. It encourages regular self-examination, not in a spirit of self-loathing, but in a posture of openness to God's transforming work. It challenges us to bring even our most embarrassing struggles before God, trusting in His grace and restorative power.

 

Moreover, this passage invites us to view our inner lives as sacred space, worthy of God's attention and care. Too often, we segment our lives, considering some areas "spiritual" and others not. But the psalmist's prayer encompasses all – heart, thoughts, and ways. It's a holistic view of spirituality that leaves no aspect of life untouched by God's presence.

 

The prayer for God to "lead me in the way everlasting" also speaks to our deep need for purpose and direction. In a world that often feels chaotic and uncertain, the assurance of a "way everlasting" offers hope. It suggests that despite life's complexities, there is a path that leads to fullness of life, a way that aligns with God's eternal purposes.

 

As we reflect on this passage, we might ask ourselves:

 

What areas of our lives have we kept hidden from God?  

 

What thoughts or motivations would we rather not examine? 

 

What would it look like to truly open every aspect of our being to God's searching gaze? 

 

The vulnerability displayed in this psalm can be uncomfortable. It's far easier to maintain a facade of righteousness than to invite thorough examination. But the psalmist understood a profound truth: true peace and growth come not from hiding our flaws but from exposing them to the light of God's love and truth. 

 

So, let's trust God with our whole selves – the good, the bad, and the ugly – confident in His love and His power to guide us in the way everlasting. Because if you've been hoarding things, you'll still have to open up that closet eventually. What's hidden under the bed or stuffed in a drawer will require attention sooner than later. Best haul out all the "junk" now so the master-cleaner of our souls, who cleanses us not with water or Clorox, but with his holy and precious blood, can truly bring us into a fuller realization of the person he wants us to be!

 

In Jesus' name,

Judah