"Confession" isn't what you think it is.

I grew up in a church where "confessing" our sins was encouraged.

 

We began every service with a public "confession" of what we'd done, what we'd left undone... and admission that we were "sinful and unclean." The pastor also spoke God's forgiveness in response.

 

When I was a pastor, this was how we started every service.

 

Other traditions/churches do it in different ways. But confessing one's sins is an important part of pretty much every "brand" of Christianity out there.

 

But a lot of us never do it. If we do it, we do in in a private prayer to God. And even then, we probably miss the "heart" of the matter. We focus on specific actions/sins that we feel bad about (or don't but know we should confess) without really examining the fundamental brokenness that's behind the specific misdeed.

 

Over the last couple days we've been reconsidering the definition/concept of "sin." If you missed those e-mails, go back and read them. Then come back to this one.

 

Bottom line, the understanding of "confession" I grew up believing usually missed the real problem. It overlooked the true "source" of my bad actions.

 

Because "sin" isn't about a list of things that God doesn't like. It's not about specific "actions" so much as it's a term that describes a fundamental brokenness in the heart of mankind.

 

What I called yesterday a pathological self-centeredness that can manifest in many and various defects of character.

 

Often times, when we "confess" a sin, it's like treating the symptom. It can help you feel a little better for a time, but you'll need another dose sooner or later because the problem will come back. It's like taking cough syrup... when the real problem is a virus...

 

And when it comes to the human condition, we don't naturally overcome this virus with our immune system. It requires Divine Intervention.

 

And on our part, it requires a proper diagnosis. What is the "sin" behind the "sin"?

 

Allow me to explain.

 

This is something that 12-step traditions (which are based on the Oxford Group's Christian method) get right.

 

Don't get hung up on the "addiction" side of A.A. The only "step" in the 12-steps that has anything to do with alcohol is the first step. Even if you're not an alcoholic or addict, pretty much everything else in the steps applies to you. It's a spiritual approach to life rooted in deep Biblical truth (even though A.A. downplays the Biblical foundations of the program so as not to turn off people who are seeking sobriety but have issues with religion).

 

The fourth step in A.A. is this:  

“Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” 

 

This is the fifth step: 

“We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” 

 

The sixth step is crucial: 

“We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” 

 

Now, there's a lot to be said about this. In A.A.s primary text, Alcoholics Anonymous (also known as the 'Big Book') Bill W. defines character defects as “uncharacteristic reactions to life’s difficulties, such as fear, envy, pride, resentment, and jealousy.” 

 

Elsewhere in the Big Book these defects are described in summary as "self-seeking."  

 

Sound familiar?

 

Maybe you're starting to see the connection here between today's e-mail and the e-mails I sent out the last two days.

 

Again, don't get hung up on the fact that this comes from A.A. Like I said, this is a program with Biblical foundations that has offered a spiritual solution to millions of people worldwide who were overcome with a self-seeking addiction they couldn't solve any other way.

 

The same method works for any sinful habit, whether it be to a chemical, a behavior (gossip, p**nography, lust, lashing out in anger/hate, etc.). At the core of it all is more than the "bad thing" we did but some kind of self-seeking defect.

 

This self-seeking can be connected to a fear, envy of others, pride/arrogance, or a resentment.

 

For example, when I had a problem with alcohol, I was dealing with a lot of pride and fear (I was afraid what people would think about me when they heard that my first marriage was falling apart... since I was a minister and divorce was considered a big sin for clergy). I'd add "guilt" to the list, but that usually is connected to some kind of resentment against self. I had that in scores.

 

Sure, I "confessed." At least I thought I did. But talking to someone and merely confessing, "I'm drinking too much" wasn't solving the problem. I said thousands of prayers asking God to "fix" me." That didn't do it, either.

 

Because I wasn't bringing God the core problem.  

 

He didn't "answer" that prayer in the affirmative, I believe, because he loved me enough that he wanted me to dig deeper... he wanted to cure the disease, not merely remove a symptom.

 

The problem had to get worse before I saw the truth. Before it could get better.

 

I had to be brave, and courageous, and really examine my flaws: my character defects. I had to dig down to the "root" of the weeds that had grown up in my life... because plucking weeds off at the stem never stop them from growing and spreading...

 

Unless you get it at the root-level... it will always come back. That's true of weeds. It's even more true when it comes to sin.

 

This isn't about me, of course. But I put my own experience out there because I think even if we have different "symptoms" or outward manifestations of our inner defects/brokenness... we all struggle with the same "core" problems with the human condition.

 

In A.A. after we're ready to have God remove these defects of character we pray to Him to do that. Then the program turns to making amends to those we've harmed. Even if people don't accept our amends, we do it. It's not about them as much as it's about us. We have to keep our side of the street clean. We can't control what other people do or how they'll accept/receive our amends.

 

If we can't make amends, or if it would do more harm than good, we find another way to make some kind of "living" amends. For example, when I drank I often blamed it on the death of my best friend and college roommate (we were both 18) at the time.

 

I felt like I owed him an amends because I'd been blaming him (in a way) for both introducing me to alcohol... and even for his death since it left me with wounds that I hadn't totally resolved.

 

So I wrote/burned a letter to him at his gravestone. There are a lot of ways to do it. The point is, it takes action. Not just throwing up a quick prayer and moving on.

 

Today, for instance, if I identify a sinful problem, a defect, I talk to someone about it (someone I trust), I pray about it, and I write it down. I burn it, symbolically giving it up to God... who promises to remove my sin as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12).

 

That kind of "fire" ceremony isn't dictated in Scripture. But it's a way I can get out of my head about it. We're physical beings and we need physical means (some kind of practice or ceremony that embodies our intentions).

 

We can't make any progress on any sinful behavior until we properly diagnose the problem behind the problem. We need to be honest about our defects. 

 

That can be scary. Because it's one thing to say "oops, I did bad." It's another thing to say, "there's something fundamentally wrong about me."

 

That's because admitting a defect gets to the core of who we are... our character and identity.  

 

But here's the good news.

 

...if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:7–9, ESV). 

 

I had to quote a portion of v. 7 because it's crucial. We have to bring what festers in the darkness out into the light. That's confession. Our deeds might already be seen. The outward "sin" is out there. But it's the defects that tend to fester in the darkness like mildew and black mold... and it releases spores that manifest in a real, genuine, sickness... in all kinds of awful behavior.

 

But if we do that, if we confess it (and bring it out into the light) God promises to restore us. Not just wipe away the "deed" but to cleanse us... that's why we have to dig deep, get to the root cause of it all, the real "dirtiness" within.

 

Don't be afraid to confess to God, either. He's not going to lightning-bolt you. In fact, the word to "confess" (homologein in Greek) has two parts. Latin: con+fessio. Greek: homo:logeo. Literally, it means "same say." To agree.

 

To confess means we're just "agreeing" with God what he already knows about us. It's not a revelation to Him. He wants us to confess for our sake.

 

It can be scary to do it at first. But I promise, if you start doing this regularly, it will change everything. There's nothing God can't overcome in your life if you stop hiding your defects in the darkness. Bring it out into the light. Admit it to yourself (that is sometimes the hardest part), to another human being, and to God. Then ask God to remove these defects. And trust that He did it. Then, make a change. Deal with the fall-out of your past and make amends when necessary.

 

Then rinse and repeat.  

 

Over time, I think you'll find, when you do this the right way, it becomes way easier. It becomes a habit of a sort. And when you see how big of a difference it makes in your life, you'll keep doing it. Over time, you'll find you have a lot less hidden in that dark closet of your soul than you used to. That's what the Bible calls "sanctification," or a progression toward holiness.

 

And this is the only way to get there. It's what the Bible teaches. And millions of people who've applied this to what used to be considered a hopeless condition (addiction) are proof that it works. That's because God isn't a liar. He tells us the truth... but if we say we have no sin, we call God a liar (1 John 1:10).

 

So don't be afraid of this. In fact, I think this should be the primary focus in virtually every Christian community. It should be a safe space where we remove our false selves, our fake "masks" we wear in life, and spill the beans about all our flaws/defects/sickness to one another... we bear one another's burdens... and we support each other as we seek holiness.

 

The church is the last place where you should have to "hide" yourself, where people should be "fake" or "hypocritical." I know that this happens a lot (regrettably) but no one can call you a hypocrite if you are rigorously honest about your own defects. There is freedom there for all of us. It's the gift Christ gave us. Will we embrace it, or will we continue to live as a lie unto ourselves, hiding our flaws to the point of denial?  

 

It's time to remove our masks. To strip away the facade.

 

That's what Jesus meant when he said the cost of following him... the cost of discipleship... is a death. For we have to die to ourselves. When we do that, we die with Him. If we die with him, His victory becomes ours. We who die with him, will be raised with him into life victorious.

 

Blessings,

Judah

 

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